OCD Controlled My Life for 20 Years—Until I Took a Stand

Early Struggles with OCD

Several years ago, when I was a teenager, intrusive vulgar thoughts about my girlfriend (who is now my wife) started popping into my head. I felt immense guilt because of it.

I confessed to her and went to see a psychiatrist. However, he only prescribed me medication without giving any advice on what to do next.

I didn’t take those meds, and my girlfriend reassured me that I control my mind and that I am healthy. My OCD calmed down for several years (or didn’t bother me enough for me to care).

OCD Resurfacing During the Pandemic

In 2019, I set up a gym in my garage and started training. Then the pandemic hit.

While working out, I developed the compulsion to constantly check the weight on the barbell. My workouts started taking over three hours, with over an hour spent just calculating the weight.

Soon, my compulsions extended beyond the gym.

I began checking doors, lights, windows, water taps, and the oven. I even checked whether I had really dropped my child off at preschool. I’d look at the empty car and still be unsure whether my son was inside. A constant “what if” would arise.

Living in Silence with OCD

For three years, I lived with OCD without telling anyone. How could I possibly have something wrong with my mind? I thought I could handle it alone. I was ashamed.

But eventually, OCD started affecting my relationship. Questions kept popping into my head:

• What if my wife cheats on me?
• Where is she?
• With whom?
• Why is she wearing a dress?
• Why is she putting on makeup?

OCD created such real scenarios in my mind that I ruminated for hours each day. I was frustrated, and my wife was fed up with my questions, surveillance, and control. OCD brought me to my knees.

Seeking Help and Finding Purpose

In October 2023, I had enough. I told my wife that something was wrong with my mental health. I went to therapy. And that was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.

I started reading extensively about OCD to understand what I was fighting against. Knowledge helped a lot.

I recalled childhood moments when I was afraid of getting infected by walking past empty medicine packages or feeling extreme discomfort when stepping on a crack in the sidewalk. My OCD had started back then. It took me 20 years to finally go to therapy.

My wife and I agreed not to discuss my thoughts at home, as they were very painful for her.

Using Humor as Therapy

In December 2023, I started making memes. It became a form of therapy for me, a way to express myself. Over time, I realized that my memes also help others. They help people distance themselves from mental disorders, offering a moment of relief in an otherwise exhausting battle. Laughter doesn’t cure OCD, but it weakens its grip.

The beauty of humor is that it exposes OCD for what it really is—a liar, a bully, a relentless voice that thrives on fear. By turning my struggles into something people could relate to and laugh about, I found a sense of control. I wasn’t just a victim of OCD anymore—I was actively fighting back, one meme at a time.

As my content began reaching more people, I realized that so many others were suffering in silence, just as I had for years. Seeing them find comfort in my words and humor made me feel like I was part of something bigger. I wasn’t just battling OCD for myself anymore—I was helping others see that they weren’t alone.

Breaking the Silence Around OCD

I waited 20 years to go to therapy. That’s definitely too long. But I believe that by talking openly about mental health, we can change that. ♡

For so long, I let shame and fear keep me from seeking help. I convinced myself that I was weak, that I should be able to fix this on my own. But the truth is, there is nothing weak about asking for help—it takes immense strength to admit that you’re struggling and to take the steps toward recovery.

If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self one thing: You are not broken. You are not alone. And you do not have to suffer in silence.

This is why I speak up now. I share my story, my struggles, and my victories—not just for myself, but for everyone who feels trapped in the same cycle of fear and doubt. Because the more we talk about OCD, the less power it has over us.

If you’re reading this and battling your own demons, please know that help is out there. You are not alone. And no matter how long you’ve been fighting, it is never too late to take back your life. ♡